Embracing Grief as a Way to Move Forward

When we think of grief it is most often associated with the death of a loved one. But in my practice I’ve helped clients move beyond this narrow scope and think of grief more expansively. Grief is interwoven into the fabric of our lives and the process of grieving serves an important role in shaping our personal evolution.

We may feel regret over foregone opportunities. We may feel resentful that we cannot change another person despite years of trying. We may feel sadness over lost friendships and the old hopes for what could have been. The list goes on. 

The truth of the matter is that the more we allow ourselves to be in touch with these feelings of loss and longing, to really sit with our emotions and to process them, the wider the door opens for us to make more intentional and aligned choices for our next chapter. 

Transformation doesn't come without loss. And while the exercise of releasing the old to make way for the new can be painful, processing a loss is essential to moving forward.

Perhaps the most profound grief I’ve experienced has been for the lost years living someone else’s life.

Growing up in the 1970s and 1980s, the conventional wisdom was that life was linear.  You went to school, you worked, you got married, raised a family and, by the time you were 65 years old, you were retired and living out your final years. 

I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit chasing this ‘ideal.’ But the narrative was never a comfortable fit for me. And when I (inevitably) didn’t live up to this fictionalized version of what life should be, I felt deep shame. 

Despite many accomplishments and a life rich with travel, intellectual pursuits and professional accolades, I always felt like something was missing. For years I believed that I was somehow broken and needed to be fixed. 

But it turns out I was wrong.

What I came to understand with time, and a lot of support, is that “the path” doesn’t exist. There is only “my path.” I wasn’t broken and in need of repair. I was simply walking on someone else’s road. The work before me was to release and grieve what I believed my path should be, and to forge my own.

This is where working with a skilled coach can be most helpful. Sharing your story, hopes, and challenges in a safe and accepting environment, with someone trained to guide your journey, can provide a deep sense of relief. It allows you the space to create a future full of possibility and joy.

I am deeply curious about the experiences that have shaped my clients’ lives and brought them to this moment. As their coach, I create a supportive space to openly explore the next chapter of life, without fear or judgment. 

I am fully present and listen to what my clients say (and what they don’t). I ask questions to provoke thought and self-inquiry. 

A coach cannot give you a magic solution to transform your life. But she can help you discover your own answers, walk your own path, and find the joy of being just who you are.